There's a Dance in the Old Dame Yet

Well, how's about this?

Yesterday on my way home, I bought myself a new sweater. It's the color of a new leaf. It is what some have called "Paris green".

I woke up this morning, determined to take on the world. I put on my pearl earrings and my Paris green sweater and a neat pair of black pants and off I went.

It was a fine day today. The wind was scudding the thin flat clouds to the east and as I was rounding a corner, saw the first robin of the year. In fact, central Jersey is positively infested with robins at the moment. I must have seen a hundred of them.

At work, I kept my chin up. I was tired of panicking about work, so I sat down and put everything I had to do on an Excel spreadsheet. I filled in details. I put in dates. I've used this system before and it works.

And when I was finished, children, what do you suppose I saw?

I saw the truth. I saw that in one day, I was supposed to accomplish what three people would be hard-pressed to complete.

Boy Wonder sent me an email. "Have you done XYZ yet?" I walked into his office with a printout of the spreadsheet in hand. I put it on his desk.

"That," I said, "is one day of my life. Where exactly do you see XYZ fitting in?"

"Holy crap," he said. "Have you shown this to True Boss? Does he realize you're spread so thin?"

I showed it to True Boss. He said, "Nice system."

Yentl sent me email. "Have you done ABC yet?"

I sent her a copy of the spreadsheet. "ABC is here. It's number 15 on the list. I suggest you talk to True Boss if you see a need to change that priority."

I spent today working. Really, really working as I haven't in months. As I crossed off one thing after another, more sprang up in their places.

I worked late this evening, but when I was done, knew I'd done a full day's work. And that I wasn't crazy for thinking myself overworked.

Today, I was complimented more times than I have been in years. "You look... perky," one of the programmers said. "We like you perky. You haven't been well for awhile."

No, I haven't. But I'm starting to feel better. There's a dance in the old dame yet, boss. Toujours gai, toujours gai.

In Brief

• Unnamed CO should be looking for someone with vast experience in this area.
  
• They should require a certain industry credential AND an MBA.
  
• They should pay this worthy somewhere between $80K - $100K. A look at some similar job postings show the range to be $100 - $150K.
  
• They will likely be unwilling to pony up more than $80K.
  
• They will likely get few responses once the money is mentioned.
  
• Their gimlet eye will descend on me.
  
• True Boss will be asked to release me from his service.
  
• Unless forced by a "C" level executive, I doubt he will.
  
• If I apply and am not chosen, will I live out my life there in ignominy?
  

Of course, this may all be moot. True Boss issued a job req for an assistant project manager, no, wait, a requirements writer. No, wait, a marketing manager. No, wait, a graphic designer. Who knows what this director thing will morph into.

Early days yet.

Wha - what??

To further confuse things...

I came out of Boy Wonder's office this afternoon and Joe BigDog, our CIO, motioned at me, that kind of "pssst, c'mere" gesture to go into an empty office. (Actually, I myself want this office. I have for some time now.)

Let me explain about Joe BigDog. He was one of the many people who interviewed me when I was applying at Unnamed Co. He was the last one. It was late in the day. I was exhausted and when he asked me some questions, I saw a grimace of unhappiness cross his face. My interview with him convinced me that I would not get the job at Unnamed Co.

I have since learned that he pretty much treats everybody this way. I have also learned that he's kind of running out the clock, that he's waiting for the day when he and Mrs. BD can pack up for Florida with their full-size French poodles and do nothing but sail all day.

When I first came to Unnamed Co., I sat in on his weekly meeting and did not grow wan or faint of heart when I realized I was the only woman in the meeting and there was a lot of testosterone-charged posturing and f-word-using. I didn't flinch or object. I've been here before.

I think Joe BigDog regarded me as a nuisance and a token. I didn't care. I still asked him things I needed to know, badgered him until I got an answer, then went on my way.

Joe BigDog has a new thing. His latest crusade is to take a completely chaotic development environment and get it up to CMM Level 2. You don't need to know what it is. It's just a Herculean effort for a company so mired in chaos. He's been bringing in trainers and consultants to help the organization at least get itself to Level 1. After the first go round of meetings about this, I went up to Joe.

I had some experience from this from the days of Evil Empire Consulting and I told him as much. "If I can do anything," I said, "to support you and the organization going forward in this, let me know." I meant it sincerely then and I mean it now.

So now Unnamed Co is setting up a specific office to get these standards in place. The person heading that will be at a director level.

That was why Joe was giving me the high sign this afternoon. He said, "I wanted to tell you this position will be posted soon. Talk to the Susan, the director of HR about this if you're interested. I think you should apply." He was smiling at me. This kind of creeped me out, because Joe never smiles at anybody. Then hastily, he said, "This isn't a slam dunk. We're interviewing other people from outside."

Which is wise since I have so little experience at this that it's just ridiculous that they would do more than give me a cursory look. Still, I was dumbfounded. I thanked him, then trotted off to see Susan.

Susan said, "Oh, I'm glad you came by. Now you do understand, this is all very new. I don't have a job description or salary range yet, that's how new it is. And please don't mention this just yet to Boy Wonder or True Boss. They both love you and I don't want to upset them."

What? They love me? Boy Wonder? True Boss? What?

This must just be the HR equivalent of a pity f*ck.

I spent lunch alternately sleeping and crying in my car and I come back to this? What?

Oh man. I am so tired. And I'm having all of these wild little spurts of fantasy, thinking about the extra money (which would be hard-earned), thinking about actually being at director level. I don't know what to think.

I think... I think I need to have some dinner.

Of course, this is all really about letting me know the position would be opening up. I think it was a courtesy. And I have no doubt that some very qualified soul will come along. The real issue will then be about whether or not Unnamed Co can pony up the very considerable bucks they should be paying this person.

Scribble, Scribble

Class is over. I briefly sympathized with Concepcion when I learned she commutes through New York City to get to work. Then she leaned on me and all sympathy vanished.

I am acting weird at work. I don't know what's going on. I am worried. Am I coming down with a cold? Should I be working longer hours to get the work done? Is it a bad sign that some grunt work that I might have been forced to do is being outsourced to the departed employee who used to do it? All I can think to do is to go to work, sit down, and put my nose to the grindstone until it's dark outside.

Why do people decide they have to confide in me? It's the face, I know, the doughy, innocent, baby-at-52 face. Yesterday, someone in the class who had been boasting about his teenage son said to me, "Just between you and me, he's the only reason I go home." Oh, man. Don't tell me this.

Re: weirdness at work: Could it be that I've been knocked off my stride by seeing Boy Wonder for the ruthless climber he claims to be, as well as getting a pretty good view of what True Boss is, um, truly like? It could be. However, the only answer to this is to suck it up and get over it.

I've been going to bed at 8:30. Once dinner is done, the house is tended to, and I've read for about an hour, I can't think of anything else to do with myself. So I go to bed. Surely this isn't right.