Meh

National Day of Mourning
The man who brought Kozy Shack pudding to a world waiting for the perfect rice pudding has died. Vincent Gruppo, according to the NY Times on 1/11, said Mr. Gruppo died on Dec. 29. Ah, if only Mr. Gruppo had known the comfort and joy he brought to me and my friends...Have some Kozy Shack today, even just one of those completely insufficient little cups, and raise it high in memory of Mr. G.

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Boy Wonder and the Whole Damn Mess
I am glad to report that Fireman Fred, even while absent from the office, has made clear his support for Brilla. Even Yentl voiced her opinion (as if you could get her to not say anything?). Brilla was feeling better yesterday and I noticed she seemed to be opening up a little. But Boy Wonder has not and never will apologize. Jerk.

Anyway, there still has been no official announcement of my new position, which leaves Yentl thinking I'm still on her project while I'm thinking I'm not.

And in the meantime, I'm beginning to realize the monstrous and mammoth proportions of what I'm s'posed to be doing for Boy Wonder. He lets little bits dribble out, not because he's afraid I'll freak, but because he keeps it all in his mind. I know that he thinks very little of most women, which is surprising of a man barely 30, but all evidence points to that as a truth. Then again, he may completely disregard any woman over 30 who is not a stunning beauty. He talks to Belladonna quite a bit.

Anyway. I digress. Yesterday, he dragged Girl Wonder and me into a tiny conference room and wrote on the white board: "Great Big Project is second to none! Not even Big Moneymaker!"

Big Moneymaker has been the company staple for over a hundred years, in one form or another. Apparently, Boy Wonder had just come from another senior management meeting where the subject was the glory of Big Moneymaker. "They sit on their asses all the time! They have twelve programmers! They have 30 salespeople! Of course they make money! But we're Great Big Project and we're going to beat their asses."

Uh...how about we just figure out WTF Great Big Project really is first?

"And by the way," he said to me, "I expect that project plan on my desk by noon tomorrow."

A project plan for a project that hasn't even gone through the initial phases of analysis or feasibility. At least outside of Boy Wonder's head.

And Fireman Fred's last lecture to me consisted of him basically telling me not to come running to him all the time.

Okay. Then what the hell am I supposed to do with this?

By the way, Girl Wonder's true colors have shown. I'm not surprised but I am disappointed. She is very, very good at what she does but I can tell there are times she wants to flick me off her hand like a sticky booger.

Ahem. Okay. Have I ranted enough for one day?

Uh....no. But I do have to get that #*%&*#! project plan on Boy Bozo's desk by noon.

Brilla and the Wolves

Poor Brilla. She thought she was going to the conference room to lead a review of her latest project. What she was met with, was three of these.

Of which I was one.

It happened so subtly but so quickly. Boy Wonder and Girl Wonder began to circle her. Brilla held her composure. And then suddenly, I found myself in it, too, ruthlessly telling her that this would never work. And then I remembered what I had gone through on Friday, how no one had shown me any mercy. I took a deep breath, emotionally regrouped, and every time Boy Wonder lunged, I tried to make a feint and draw him away. But his nature is far more brutal than mine and he is stronger than I am.

Girl Wonder was in on it, too, and the two of them seemed to work in tandem, striking head-on, then flanking Brilla and I couldn't hold them off.

Brilla bore it all with enormous courage and composure. She didn't cringe or cower. She stood her ground firmly.

The meeting ended quickly. When it was over, I went back to my cubicle. Brilla sits in the cube next to mine.

"Brilla?" I said as I thought I heard her footsteps. I did. She walked downstairs. She was gone for a few minutes, but then she came back upstairs. I said her name again. I got engrossed in something else and when I looked up, the light over her desk was off. She had fled.

I found Fireman Fred in his office. I closed the door. I told him what had happened in the meeting. "Telling tales out of school, I suppose," I said, a little shame-faced.

Fred leaned forward. "I've noticed it before," he said. "Especially with Brilla. Stavros kind of went after her in a meeting last Friday." Oh, Brilla. I am so sorry.

"It's good that I know this," he said. "She's doing exactly what I've told her to do and if the Boy Wonders of this company are giving her a hard time, I need to know about it."

I managed to slink away a little early. Oh, Brilla, I thought many times on the way home, I am so sorry. You were so brave. Please be strong tonight and tomorrow will be a better day. Of that, I am almost positive.