Thar She Blows

Dr. Yeow has frequently warned me to look out for manic episodes. I think he thought I was having one.

I don't want to say he's right, but at the moment, I'm feeling pretty low.

I got another love letter from Wells Fargo. This one said that I could put off paying my mortgage payment until Jan 10, 2010. Then everything would be due - three months of back mortgage payments PLUS late fees.

What f*ing saints.

And someone kept telling me they don't want my house?

And it turns out - it really does turn out - that I was making more money on unemployment than I am now.

I have been pushed and pushed and pushed and now I can't be pushed any further. Not unless someone comes and takes me where I've fallen down in a heap and bodily throws me off the precipice.

I've been crying and crying. The stupid cow at Wells Fargo kept saying, "You have to make more money and reduce your expenses to get into another program." And I kept saying, "How much more and how much less?" And she kept saying, "But that doesn't give us a true picture of your situation."

And finally, sobbing, I hung up.

I'm going to take some clonazepam. And maybe when I wake up, things won't feel so f*ing horrible.