This will eventually include me, but for now, I'm going with the latest and most annoying suck-up in my life.
Brilla. Everytime Fred sneezes, Brilla wants to send him a fruit basket. More than that, she wants everyone to chip in to send him said basket.
I don't want to play.
One thing I love about Unnamed Co. is that you only hear about the big catastrophes and sorrows and then, nobody comes around with a hat in hand. When The Big Cheese's dad died, an announcement went out to the company along with a little note that in lieu of flowers, please make contributions to the American Cancer Society. It was my choice, so I did. And it was small. Very small. Still, I had done something I wanted to do with no one holding a gun to my head.
The first Christmas Brilla worked an Unnamed Co., she sent an email to the group saying, hey, let's all pitch in for a gift for Fred. And I sighed. I have done this myself in vain attempts to suck up. The last boss I gave a Christmas present to laid me off. So, no. Don't want to play. I sent back an email saying I preferred we all gave gifts at our own discretion.
I found out later that Brilla, knowing Fred loves a certain type of liquor, had given him a bottle of some of the most expensive around. I don't even want to think of what she gave The Big Cheese.
I suppose there are a couple of reasons why I don't want to play this game. One is that I have worked at companies where someone came around demanding money at gunpoint for Stacey's baby shower, for Joanne's son's graduation, for Mike's 25th anniversary with the company, for this, for that. I got tired of it when it started to add up (in 1985) to more than $30 / month.
Since I've come to Unnamed Co., I have given exactly three gifts/donations, and one was basically forced from me. One was for Yentl's son's bar mitzvah and that I willingly and happily gave. I'm achingly aware that his time on this earth is extremely limited and wanted to do whatever I could to contribute to this celebration.
The other was for The Big Cheese's dad. I had seen TBC come in to work every day, walking slower, looking so weary that as I walked behind him, I was afraid he would just stop and not be able to move another inch. I ached for him, too. I wasn't able to make the wake or funeral, but I did send in a donation. Once before I sent in a donation anonymously after a co-worker's death and through the organization, got a note from the family that they wished I would come forward so they could thank me personally.
Money for the fruit basket was forced from me. I resented that.
And I resent the latest rounds of Brilla's sucking up. Again, I am annoyed at anything that disturbs my already-unsettled finances. There are times when shelling out $20 for flowers or layettes means I have to eat basmatti rice most of the week. I resent that.
So now that Mrs. Fred is about ready to pop with the latest youngun, we are being forced at gunpoint to give him a baby shower.
You know how I feel about babies. Imagine how I feel about baby showers. Woo hoo. You managed to reproduce. Um, that was your choice, right? So it's your responsibility, right? And you can buy the little tyke booties, can you not?
See? Just not happy about it.
If left to my own devices, I might have financed the creation of an afghan or some such. But here we go again with the 'Do Not Push' thing.
Anyway, Brilla's ambitions are obviously high. Let me just state for the record that if anything happens to Fred and Brilla somehow takes his place, I will do my utmost to find another position within Unnamed Co. Frankly, I think Girl Wonder would be the natural selection. Stavros is out because he has a terrible temper and is known to alienate customers. Me? Meh. Let's not go there.
Her latest sucking up involves Parent Co. In the company's virtual idea box, she has two ideas and both of them are related to Parent Co. This is blatant climbing and it annoys me.
Yeah, I have one out there as well. There is a prize for 'best idea'. The prize money wouldn't keep me in cat food for a month, but I realized when I came up with my idea, it was because the thought of this idea being implemented at UC made my little heart beat faster and I just thought it was so cool. The sucking up involved here is to do the Silk 'visibility' thing, so I'd better make sure it's a damn fine presentation.
I have to say one thing about Brilla that I know most people admire - she is an absolute freight train. She is a bulldog. She will never, ever, ever quit when she gets hold of something. She pushes as only a native born Jersey girl can.
I guess that's good. I hope they appreciate it at Parent Co. Maybe they'll appreciate it so much that they'll move her to HQ, located in Faraway, Massachusetts.
Me, I just want to be turned loose to go to BEA and the tech expos and become sort of a wandering gatherer / gleaner / synthesist. Highly doubtful. But that's what I'd like. In my own sucky-uppy kind of way.
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