What They Stand to Lose

I was in Little India yesterday before my appointment with Herschel the Hairdresser.

I had lunch in my favorite little spot, although I realize I should branch out and try some of the newer places. I had the butter chicken, naan, and salad with raita. Again, because it was so phenomenally tasty, I ate too much.

Afterwards, I walked around. The little grocery stores have tightly packed displays of little clay pots and candles for Diwali, which is next month. Now there's a holiday I think that should be appropriated into the national roster, like Halloween. Lights, dressing up, parties, more lights. It's all good. The sixth day (I think) is supposed to be when brothers pledge their support to their sisters and I realize I lost out on something by not knowing my four half-brothers and keeping up with my one step-brother. Five men forced to give me prezzies...It works for me.

On my walk, I noticed all the families. There were a lot of dads out with their kids yesterday. One man came into the restaurant / sweet shop with his seven year old son and bought a huge bag of boxed sweets. Someone told me this is the traditional gift that's given out when a family has a son. (No mention of the daughters, of course.) One guy came in with his two teenaged daughters to order takeaway. On the sidewalks, grown mothers and daughters with husbands in the background. In the stores, girlfriends running into the bridal sari shop, giggling.

It reminded me of Hull Street in Richmond in 1960. Or Broad Street in Richmond in 1968. Gone now, ruined when the first mall opened in Richmond in 1972. That mall has since been abandoned and torn down. But in 1960 or 1968, you would see scenes much like this.

I was talking to one of the Indian women at work. She said she was going to Boston for the weekend. The Indians I know have traveled a lot within America. More than I have, which isn't saying that much.

I said, "Oh - you have family there?"

She said, yes, her cousin. She'd also been to Niagara Falls.

A cousin there?

No, her sister. And her brother lives in Los Angeles, so that's where she's going on vacation.

I remember that when my family went to visit anyone, there was no question of staying in a hotel. For one thing, back then there just weren't any hotels around. If you didn't stay with the family you were visiting, you were regarded as standoffish and were accused of Having The Big Head. I had cousins in Baltimore, an aunt in Alexandria, uncles and aunts in northern Georgia.

Then it stopped. Someone somewhere had had it up to here with staying at my grandparents' house or their uncles' house. Hotels started springing up and it was worth the money to have a bathroom to call your own.

I thought about the closeness I saw on the street yesterday. If these folks aren't careful, they stand to lose it all. Some of it will happen anyway as their kids grow up American.

But I wonder if they appreciate what's at stake. I hope they do. I hope their families don't turn out like my family. It's a lot to lose.