I find myself between a rock and a hard place.
I've had two phone interviews and one Skype interview since I've been out of work. Nothing face to face. Lately, there seem to be two, count 'em, two job openings for a technical writer in central Jersey and one in south Jersey. It's a doable commute, but the pay stinks.
I am now on my last ragged legs of unemployment benefits. I owe over $22,000 on a Home Equity Line of Credit. I have some investments, but I really hate to break into them. I'm investigating how to go onto welfare and SNAP, fka, food stamps.
Last night, I was talking to Emma. Over the last few months, I've heard nothing but complaints from her about the cleaning women sent over. They don't clean to her satisfaction and she screams obscenities at them. Needless to say, they don't come back. Right now, Swen is letting her down in nearly every way imaginable. There's some husband and wife stuff in there I veer away from at every opportunity.
She said, "I want you to come up here and take care of me. I'll pay you $5,000 a month. The only decision you have to make is how many of your cats you'll bring up here." Hold the phone. This sounds like she expects me to live with her 24/7 as well as sacrificing some of my cats. Red flags? It looks like the May Day celebration when Kruschev was in power. No. No. No.
I told her it was a lot to think about. She agreed. I thought about a lot of things. She is now virtually powerless, trapped in her living room, unable to gather the strength to go upstairs to bed, unable to go into the kitchen to make herself a sandwich when Swen is at work. She is also given to wild swings of emotion, alternately screaming and hysterically sobbing.
This would be my childhood and adulthood nightmare come true - taking 24/7 care of a mentally ill, physically disabled woman. In my childhood, I feared it would be my mother. In my adulthood, I fear it will be Emma.
I thought about renting a little house in town, away from their farm, and bringing my cats with me, putting my stuff in storage in Virginia, and doing it that way. But in my heart - my hard heart? - I know it won't be right, I know it will result in disaster.
There's another offer on the table. I went to Washington, DC for Thanksgiving. Realizing I had an entire hotel room to split up, I invited Cousin Kim to come stay with me. She agreed and we proceeded to have a grand old time in a very nice hotel in the middle of DC. At dinner one night, I began to tell her the tale of the homeless woman who's on my radar. She's local to the community and can be spotted on her daily routine going from the church where she sleeps to the library, where she quietly spends her days. Kim said to me, "You never have to worry about that as long as I'm alive." She has a spare room in her house in Richmond. And that sounded very appealing, very appealing indeed, a gift from above as it were.
So you see my dilemma.
Also, I don't know how long I'll be in Ma Maisonette. I have money in retirement investments, but it's not very much. In deposits, I have $2,213.08. To my Home Equity Loan, I owe $22,411.84. I'm scared.
I don't know these days how to go about getting a regular office job.They seem to have dried up or have been sucked up by the very calibrated job hunting system in place. Next stop, Craigslist.
Comments, rants, calm discussions appreciated.
2 comments:
What about living with Emma until you get a job near there? Also, the mansionette is clean and would probably be easy to sell. Would Emma tending be tolerable if it was for a prescribed number of months, like 12, after which you'd have 60 k if you lived with them?
I remember a post you wrote about seeking work and how it was a job in itself to look. It was a great post with real instructions on how to do this, I saved it but I can't find it in this new computer program. I remember it was very positive.
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