The State Birthday

Hey, if the Queen of England can have one, why can't I?

My real birthday is someday this week but because of identity theft, I have lied about my real birthday for years. I chose June 18 because it's close enough to my real birthday to remember and also, mostly, fangirling here, it's Paul McCartney's birthday.

As mentioned before, when married, my birthday celebration (as did my ex's) went on for an entire month. Now I get a day out of it but on the days around it, I do nice but inexpensive things for myself. Such as today. When I was on my manic spending spree last year, I bought myself a bunch of candles. The other day, I dug out the honeysuckle-scented one and it is heavenly. This morning I had my coffee and seem to plan on spending the entire day in my pajamas.

My best treat to myself is getting a five year diary from Levenger, a store room of Heaven to all those who are avid readers and writers. This one is covered in humble burlap but is boxed in an olive-gold container. I suppose because I'm starting it in the middle of the year, it's a 4 1/2 year diary.

I also bear good news.

I have a job offer. I even have an offer letter. The salary is a shocking $20K less than what I was making, but still survivable. Barely. Maybe I'll be driving for Uber on my weekends. I had applied for this job - and all jobs - online. I traded emails with a recruiter about it. It's for Ultra Big Pharma Known For Paying Crap.

Last Wednesday, I went out to run some errands, chief among them to buy books on interviewing because my interview skills are miserable. (When someone asks me to tell them about myself, I always want to start out with the opening line of "The Jerk" - "I was born a poor black child." And then I tell myself that was very naughty, indeed, Becs and move on.) I also had some "Silver Shimmer" shampoo, conditioner, and mousse to brighten up my gray hair, which I think is perfectly fine, thank you.

Just as I turned onto a secondary road, my phone rang. This is the second time in my life that I've answered the phone while driving. A guy said, "This is Richard from XYZ Consulting. You've been corresponding with Sharon about Obscenely Big Pharma," I said yes, of course. He went on. "You're going to think this is the weirdest phone call you ever got in your life."

And I thought, buster, you have no idea who you're talking to.

He said, "What if I said OBP wants you, sight unseen, as soon as you pass the security check?"

He was probably a little disappointed when I replied something along the lines of "How delightful!"

Thus began the chase, my paper chase to the library to print, scan, and copy things. Futile efforts to fill my bladder for a drug screen. Well, they got enough, so done is done. It seemed to take the whole week instead of lasting a matter of days. And I still don't know what day I start.

And instantly, instantly I tell you, it began raining jobs. That afternoon I got a call from a recruiter from Big Utility Company, telling me I had been shortlisted for a job. The next morning, I got a call from a recruiter from the Royal Bank of Somewhere. Nice money, too. THEN I got a call from Big Engineering. I also had to do a video interview (very odd) with American Engineering.

My friend Melissa the Mole has been praying for me and I told her maybe she needed to ease up for now, but she said no, not until I called her on the first afternoon home from my new job.

Should I get a call that I need to start this week, I'm taking myself out for my birthday. There will either be cheesecake or steak involved. Depending on how much time I have available, it may be both.

PS. I would like to send out a huge thank you to you know who you are who gifted the kitties with two months worth of food. They have no sense of gratitude, but I do.