Both Dr. A and Dr. Yeow have advised me to add more structure to my day.
To this, I think, hey, I get up, get ready for work, go to work, work, come home, goof around and go to sleep so I can get up, get ready...you get the idea.
So what if I get the kitchen sink clean? Who cares?
Laundry? Only if desperate.
Of course things get done like feeding the cats but as for feeding me, it's mostly foraging in the fridge and the cabinets. What's the diff?
It feels like the same old, same old until I shuffle off this mortal coil.
Yesterday, I stayed in my pjs until 11 am.
I regard this mostly as a rebellion against the years when I felt I had to be up and ready for the day by 6:30 am at the latest, including weekends. Why that was, I don't know, especially since Xman regularly slept until 10:30 or 11. I think a lot of what I'm doing now is rebelling against structures and strictures placed on me my entire life, whether internally or externally.
There is no fun. Fun costs money. I was envying someone's social life until I realized, wait! She has money. She can afford to make little weekend trips and go to concerts and buy new clothes. (She's even bored and put out when her company tells her she has to go to Paris for the week for business.) There is money enough here to pay my bills. Period. (And "free" isn't free. I think we all know that.) There is not enough money for fun.
Can I distract myself at home? Of course. That's why the publishing industry exists. My greatest diversion is sleeping and I think that I'm making up for all those years when I would stumble into work with blood-shot eyes after two hours of sleep the night before. And it was years. Years and years.
So why do I need more structure than this? I suppose one needs motivation, but other than keeping a roof over my head and keeping the cats safe, warm, and fed, it's beyond me.
2 comments:
I think structure means you accomplish things routinely. If the structure at night is make food, wash dishes, brush each cat, read a chapter, brush teeth, go to bed, you can say you did nine things before bed. I'm proud when I get just one thing done a day. I count paying a bill as one thing. Plugging in my phone is one thing. It's satisfying.
I'm not sure what they mean by structure, either. A structure is a framework that contains and frames other things, and it seems like you have that. Lack of structure would be more like me, I think, where I don't have to be anywhere or do anything on any kind of schedule, with the result that things, even important things, sometimes don't get done until someone else pushes me.
Maybe you should ask for specifics on the next visit, then tell us.
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