Appointment with Dr. A. I am tired because I have been crying and because I haven't really had free rein to dribble away. I'm not sure I want that freedom. My back hurts, so I take advantage of the nice recliner I'm sitting in.
Dr. A starts asking questions about money.
I tell her how deeply in debt I am. It's pretty deep.
She asks if I've been taking my meds.
I say not regularly for the last two weeks or so.
Dr. A: You had a headache all last week, didn't you?
Me: Yeah.
Dr. A: Do you realize you could have had seizures?
Me: I have a hard time keeping up with my pill schedule on weekends and this is the first time I've had a paid vacation in a long time. My schedule got out of whack.
Dr. A: Are you back on them?
Me: Oh, yeah.
And I am. Easier to do during the week. With breakfast. At 10 am. At noon. At 2 pm. At bedtime. Must keep Becs medicated.
Dr. A: You like being manic, don't you?
Me: Of course I do. But at least I kept it pretty well within check this time. I mean, there was the harmonica -
Dr. A: Harmonica? What about a harmonica?
Me: (launched into a long rationalization of how I wanted to entertain myself in the dark during Sandy) ...so I bought a (an?) harmonica. I've played one before. And it's cheaper than an acoustic guitar.
Dr. A: An acoustic guitar? But honey, those things cost hundreds of dollars!
Me: I know. That's why I bought a $10 harmonica.
But as Dr. A showed me my many financial sins, I'm thinking of returning everything I have, that I have the receipt for. Empty the car for once. Take out the pretty things and if I have to get store credit, make sure I replace it with something useful, like ice melter or light bulbs.
Oh, here comes the Long Dark.
I'll return the unopened heated mattress pad and will go without. This is my penance for being manic, being cold in bed. (Taylor peed on the old one. Taylor ended up peeing on a lot of things, including me.)
Bad, bad Becs. Crawl into your cold bed (thermostat set permanently at 63F) and on Saturday, don't be surprised if they won't take back the harmonica. But there's plenty else to go back.
I didn't spent a dime today. Had a can of soup for lunch and will take another one tomorrow. Yay, me. Cold me.
It's 4:38 pm EST. I want to feed the cats and maybe find another blanket for the bed. I want to read Mansfield Park until I fall asleep. I've been getting to work at 6:30 am. Things will settle in. They have to. They will.
Meanwhile, Sophie is mewing for her dinner.
4 comments:
It seems to me that a better plan would be the middle of the road. Is Dr A that hard-assed? I'd tally up the stuff, then return enough to get half the money back. Half. Not all one way or the other. It's hpw balanced people live, right?
Queen - No, actually, sitting alone in the cold and dark and wearing a hair shirt was my idea. Because I'm such a bad person.
Becs - So now I've heard about two NJ incidents: a chemical spill and a smokestack that didn't implode. Are either near you?
Queen - The derailed train/chemical spill is about 60 - 70 miles away. I didn't hear anything about a smokestack.
I would like to point out, though, that I live within ten miles of one of the biggest Superfund sites in America. There are a couple of others within the same distance, not to mention to uber-polluted Raritan River.
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