Big G

Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga and McCormick has just instituted a new security policy. Because the company is spread across two floors of the sad '70s building we're in, there's no security at the main floor but at different corners of the floors we have.

When I first arrived, if you'd forgotten your pass card, you just banged on the door until someone (me) answered it.

To please some of our clients, we've instituted a new policy that says you have to go to the reception area and wait for your boss to come sign you in.

Yesterday, two young women came in and pounded on the door at about 7:15.

I am the only one of that part of the floor that morning and if I tell these girls that they have to go back downstairs and wait until their boss comes in, usually swanning in around 9:15, I am going to catch everlasting hell about it and people are going to say mean things about me. Boo hoo.

Luckily, Big G who works in another department, just happened to be right next to me when the pounding began.

Imagine this opening the door for you when you know you're being naughty, naughty:

Only with a more serious expression and at 6'5". He has one of those quietly booming voices. He can whisper and people across I-95 can hear it.

I didn't witness the scene but I heard it.

Big G opened the door. "What you girls up here for?"
Girl 1, being giggly: "Oh, we forgot our badges."
Big G: "I can't just let you in. You know the policy. If you forget your badge, you have to go to the reception area and wait for your manager to sign you in."
Girl 2, in despair: "But that's two hours from now! And nobody told us!"

There follows a silence that you think might be a standoff, but no. It is Big G letting the girls stew and fret.

Big G: "You say your manager never told you?"
Together: "No, never."
Big G: "I need to talk to her. Y'all can come on in today, but this is the only time I'm letting you get away with this."

Meanwhile, I'm in my cubicle, doing my happy dance in my chair.

People look at me and they see marshmallow fluff, no resistance, I've stopped (pretty much) giving The Look. These girls would have just lah-de-dahed right past me.

Maybe Big G made them wet their pants a little. I hope so.

Big G saw them to there desks and came over to where he had been working.

"Big G," I said. "Were you ever in the military?"

"Yes. Air Force and Navy."

Here's a big salute to the men and women of our armed forces.