What is that? Gag. Wiping out my mouth like Tom Hanks in "Big". Oh, dear Heaven, onion rings were not meant to be sweet! And the root beer float? There's supposed to be something to float the float. They didn't even give me a straw with it.
Where is this monstrous insult to the culinary arts?
Sonic.
The food is terrible. And not even McDonald's terrible. This is just plain awful. People eat this?
It comes back to me now. When Xman and I were living in Florida, Sonic came upon the scene and we had to try it. Xman loved it. I had the same reaction that I did today, only I had blocked the dreadfulness.
In case you haven't noticed, Jersey gets everything about ten years later than the rest of the country. That's because there are so many palms to grease. If you don't know which ones and the right amount, you're doomed. It was only this year that Olive Garden opened up within fifteen miles of me. I used to go there for soup and salad, but I'm afraid to try it. What if it's horrible and comes nowhere near to matching my memory?
I would like to formally apologize to the Five Points burger stand, also known as the Galloping Hill Inn, which has the best dogs in the state. And birch beer! And onion rings that don't taste like oniony cupcakes.
Five Points, it's you and me next weekend. It's a date, baby.
4 comments:
There are exactly two edible items on a Sonic's menu. The first is the BLT, which is, frankly, hard to mess up. The second is the Cream Pie Milk Shake, which, no matter what flavor it is, has a vague essence of coconut I rather like.
Other than that, there is no food at Sonics. Of course, there is no food at BK or Wendy's, and only the most barely edible pseudo-food at McDonalds. I have to call foodishness at Taco Bell because, for reasons I do not understand, I like their tacos. Arby's is totally edible, except I no longer love their curly fries.
The older I get, the slower I like my food.
But THAT is the POINT. Sonic is a form of self-destruction. It is pretty tasty for something that's 80% fat, don't you think?
People go gaga for the limeade too.
OH. By the WAY, wummun, my labia is now spontaneously bleeding in sympathy with you. It has been tidy down there since September, and now, you set me off.
Oh, gurlfren, tell her to stop. All's clear down there now.
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