Eight Million Stories in the Naked City

And one of them is mine.

Have you heard of StoryCorps? I heard about it on NPR a couple of years ago and finally learned that there was a place in New York where you could go and record your story. I also learned that appointments are in short supply. I think the place is closing up at the end of October.

My appointment was yesterday.

Usually, people go in with someone they want to interview. I went by myself so the young woman there, who reminded me very much of Penelope Cruz, interviewed me. There was a guy there doing things with the sound. He asked if it was all right for him to ask questions. I said yes.

I'd found their interview guide online and printed it out. I highlighted some of the interview questions, some of them really just places to start from.

I enjoyed the time. It was a brief conversation with single-serving friends. At the end, I signed all kinds of releases. The sound guy took photos of me, Penelope and then Penelope and me. They handed me a copy of the CD and told me another one would be sent to the Library of Congress. (Finally! Finally I make it into the Library of Congress.)

When I got home and spotted the CD in my backpack, I reached in to throw it out, but something stopped me. Oh, glory, I thought, I bet I've gone one of those horrible "I'm such a smart suburban woman in an ironically hip kind of way" voices. And who cares what I say, anyway?

Which is why I popped it into the CD player on my PC and listened.

Briefly, I fell in love with the sound of my own voice. I realized that I'm very well-spoken. I have a good vocabulary. I speak in sentences. There was only one "umm." I sound smart and thoughtful. I think, looking back on it, that not using that voice may be one reason why I didn't get any job offers.

Listening to it, I realized that I keep people very much at a distance. I use talk to do that and it obviously works. Somehow, I've wrapped words around me that have become a kind of armor.

Once upon a time, Ari the Therapist said something like, "Given your past history with people who should have been the most reliable, it's understandable that you would shy away from people."

---------------
The Gus Report

I missed his meds dosage last night and this morning. (Booo! Bad mommy!) I did manage to dose him tonight. He was doing very well this morning but tonight, started wandering around and meowing in a yell somewhere between "Dammit, the boxes are dirty!" to "I'm in agony."

I picked him up and cuddled him against my chest. I leaned against the back of the sofa and felt Gussy's purr vibrate against my chest. Good old man. I had another day with him.