Okay, he wasn't fat, but every time I hear the word "meteorologist", this is what I think of.
This is TMI for most people (probably the three of you over there). The other two can stay.
Apparently, I get very interesting bladder infections. I don't just get one bizarre strain of bacteria. Over the last eight months, I have had four different strains of bacteria doing the conga in my urethra.
Dr. Lupin: Do you ever notice tingling sensations in your hands or feet?
Me, lying: No.
Dr. Lupin: Do you ever get a pain in your eyes? Blurred vision?
Me, lying: No.
Dr. Lupin: Any lightheadedness? Dizzyness?
Me, lying: No.
Dr. Lupin: Do your muscles get weak sometimes?
Me: I don't have MS.
Dr. Lupin: Do you fall?
Me: Only into walls, so that doesn't count as a real fall.
We talk some more. He pokes and squeezes, gently. Everything hurts.
Dr. Lupin: Have you ever had a kidney stone?
Me: No.
At least, I assume not, because every time I've heard about kidney stones it's usually from some guy who talks about hours if not days of piercing agony that sounds like he spontaneously delivered sextuplets.
I have not, thank God, been subjected to any piercing agony, other than the occasional I-am-being-stabbed-through-my-left-eye thing from time to time.
But down in the red zone? Negatory.
So I will go for an ultra sound of my kidneys and bladder on Monday. Oh joy! Oh rapture!
Dr. Lupin: There are other neurological things we look for besides MS.
Me, inwardly: STFU.
Dr. Lupin: At your age, you know, there are things we look -
Me, inwardly: Dude. Talk to the hand.
And so it goes.
5 comments:
I confused. Why is he asking neurological questions when your presenting problem is urological?
I'm sitting here very frustrated with you. You sound a lot like Hercules, who will decide he doesn't have something, and having decided that, decides that's all it takes to not have it.
Four different germs? You absolutely must stop sitting in those litter boxes, no matter how much it makes you feel like you're at the beach!
Fat doctors rule over skinny ones, because the skinny ones blame everything on your weight.
You have my deepest sympathy over the problems and the ultrasound.
It's (the ultrasound) not bad with respect to pain, it's just icky.
Being poked and prodded just sucks.
Silk - Oh, no, he actually talked about things like cysts and cancer. Dr. Lupine is nothing if not thorough. He also shrugged and said they had a program where the minute I felt a UTI coming on, they would give me an Rx so I could pop an antibiotic. Sometimes, it just happen that way.
Stacey - Thanks for the sympathy. I've been through a bladder ultra sound before. I wasn't screaming before it was over, but there was definite tear leakage.
~Silk - frequent UTIs are a symptom of MS, since the nerve to the bladder is a big target. Good for him for asking.
Becs - So, did you look okay in there?
Queen - Apparently I am a adequate voider. No tubes were involved, but they probably will be on Monday, when I go for an ultra sound.
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