Altered Consciousness

I am back to report that I have got myself one dandy colon. If you wanted to have an exemplary colon, mine would be the one to have. Unfortunately, I am using it.

Surprisingly, the whole outpatient surgery thing is a hit with me. They gave me a gown big enough to (however briefly) cover my cushy posterior. And nice little sockies that I actually brought home with me. The nurse, who looked like a slightly pudgy Cameron Diaz, put me in a snazzy recliner and put a warm blanket over me. I don't mean that it just warmed me, I mean it was warm when it came out of its special little cabinet.

Cam poked around in my hand to start an IV line. It hurt. She apologized and kept poking, as was her job.

Three different people came by to visit me, including the doctor and then the anesthesiologist. It took two people to carry all the bags and tubes as I got on the stretcher. I got wheeled into a little room, the nurse took my glasses, the doctor cheerily called, "Have a nice nap!" The nurse put one of those oxygen things on me. The anesthesiologist pumped what looked like six ounces of stuff in my hand. She said, "This might burn a little." I thought, "Ow. It hur -"

And then I woke up. I felt like three million bucks.

Now I'm a little headachey, but I think that's because of the late arrival of caffeine on the scene.

Everything's fine. I'm still kind of spaced out and I know it, which is a weird place to be in.

I wonder how much of this I'll remember tomorrow.