Kick the House

Annushka used to say this when she came home from open houses on Sundays.

Going to open houses is a good, cheap (free) way to spend a Sunday and a great way to get ideas for decorating.

E and I went out a Christmas tour of a down-at-heels NY suburb today. Well, part of it is. Once the summer retreat of steamship company owners and railroad vice-presidents, it's now home to black folk, Latino folk, and many, many gay white couples. The gay white guys love to buy the beautiful old decaying Victorian mansions and restore them to their former glory.

They pay to have stunning work done.

There was not one house I saw today that I would rate as less than gorgeous.

The first was my favorite - it's definitely going in 'Had she been beautiful', a lovely frothy thing. There were beautiful curved beams arching over the entryways to parlors and quarter-sawn golden oak paneling, mahogany floors, inglenook fireplaces the size of my living room (not exaggerating). And best of all, a lovely hideaway windowseat under the stairs, the kind you could imagine Jane Eyre hiding in, but in the imaginary good version of Jane Eyre, where her spiteful cousin doesn't find her.

Halfway through the schlepping into these houses, I started to get a headache and I was very afraid that when I got home, I would want to kick Ma Maisonette.

But I am home and so happy to be here. To me, it's as welcoming and embracing as any velvet-curtained window seat. The warm yellow glow from the walls, the gleaming office floor, it's a relief to me.

The cleanness of lines, the absolutely logical use of every inch of space at Ma Maisonette make me love her all the more.

Plus the fact that I don't have to pay Alejandro to fly over from Italy to match the tiles from the quarry where the original hearthstones came from and pay $200 an hour for the privilege of Eric the stained glass window expert to re-lead the stained glass windows.

I am home and the last thing on earth I want to do is kick the house. If I could put my arms around her, I would.

I have actually been known to kiss the kitchen wall.

That's what having a real home can do to you.